I'm down, emotionally drained, physically tired and It's bloody COLD... no I\'m not a big fan of Winter anymore, not this winter. It doesn't even bring seasonal snow anymore, It's just cold and wet.
I'm trying to work out whats broken... with me
Broken is a strong word, I'm far from dysfunctional, I'm in no serious dilemma, but there are numerous things id like to be different in my life, things that are not where id like them to be.
Take the concept of a fat person trying to diet to loose weight, or someone fixing a boat with a hole in it by inventing a better bucket, both are equally stupid if the cause isn't cured first. Emptying the boat of water is lots of hard work that goes on forever and requires constant attention, plug the hole is more difficult but ultimately solves the problem and then emptying the boat of water is extremely easy. Still with my boat analogy?
1 or 2 problems can cause a multitude of problems further down the line in any complex system
Most people spend time trying to plug the holes or bandaid a wound. They expect the bandaid to heal the wound, when all the bandaid is meant to do It's protect the wound while your own body heals itself.
You have 2 basic choices if your not happy with the way things / you are. Fix the underling dysfunction and be succesfull/happy and all the rest as a result or, find a way to be happy with what you have now, the old happiness is wanting what you have not having what you want.
And the keyword as always is BALANCE, nothing is black or white, least of all when dealing with people.
The biggest thing that's eating away at me lately is the lack of energy, physical, motivational... any kind of energy.
So I need energy, so for that I need good sleep pattern, for that I need reason to live and get up in the morning, an exercise routine, good diet...
If I can't get those basics pegged i'll be stuck going round in circles.
Energy is a strange thing, say I feel the need to tinker with something that's not important, I can spend hours on that late into night past hunger and tiredness
But if instead It's some work I need to do... all of a sudden.... no energy!
The ability to work on things you don't want to do, a good work ethic, self discipline.. all that jazz. But It's far more complex than that, you cannot strong-arm yourself into enjoying what your doing and feeling truly motivated, making yourself a good self slave isn't a solution either. Not if you want to be happy and successful at the same time.
Fitness you want to be fit, genuinely motivated to change, anxious to improve yourself whether it be for fitness/longetivity/energy levels or physical appearance sake. But when it comes down to actually exercising you can't hold that motivation for the actual workout. You just see lots of work for 30 minutes in order to loose a gram of fat.. to gain a microscopic granule of fitness.
Thinking of it like that, thinking of anything like that in the immediate future, makes it very un-inspirational. Work for small gain is dull even if the work is little.
I think people who can see the big picture ALL the time, are the succesful ones.
It's rather contradicting, meditation/bhuddism etc is all about being in the moment
happyness = being in the moment
success = being future minded
oh no! It's back to BALANCE!
*ties things together*
You cannot get motivated to do something okay or well, you can only get motivational energy to do things amazing and beyond hard (at least for me)
Things that will bring great benefits, they can motivate you as they require all your resources to attack and your mind knows that and releases this motivation to attack the task.
However if that big wonderful task is made up of 100's of smaller tasks, and you break it down as such, you won't get the motivation when attempting each of the smaller tasks. The gain will seem to small on It's own.
Lets work out for 30 min to loose 1 gram of fat.... doesn't work, doesn't motivate.
So you have to find a way to keep the big picture in mind at all times and then feed off that. get motivation from working towards something great, knowing you'll get there if you do these small tasks, no question, you WILL get there, you can't go backwards and stay still if your doing SOMETHING, it adds up. But It's hard to conceptualize that and keep it a reality.
So to tie it all up, instead of bailing water out of your boat by improving your bucket, find what's the real source of the problem, what everything stems from.
You can't do things you don't want to do, even slaves are not doing things they don't want to do strictly, they do it because they'd rather not die or rather not be punished. Unless your some kind of robot there always a reason for doing something, the more compelling the reason, the more motivated you're going to be. If It's to avoid pain and suffering, to make other people happy, It's not going to be particularly motivational or healthy.
Don't do things to avoid the bad, do things to go after the good.
When people are faced with a car accident scenario, where they suddenly have to avoid a tree, a person, another car in order to get to safety, most people fixate on the thing they must at all costs avoid.
You know what happens?
They plough straight into whatever they wanted to avoid.
All that's in your head is the object your fixating on, If you think 'I must avoid this or failure will happen' your mind will go hard to work at informing you about all the possible ways you could fail, It's doing It's job.
If you ask your mind how to avoid failure, it will tell you all the ways you can fail... and you will fail, you will fail because your brain will have been so busy on how to avoid failure, imagining ways in which you could fail in order to avoid such situations, it won't have spent any time on how to succeed.. so you won't know, you won't have an idea how to.
So Instead, ask how can I succeed. Where do I want to go. Fixate not on the car ahead you want to avoid, but the open space you want to target, and your mind will steer you correctly. It will feed you all the possible ways you could succeed, all the paths that will take you to safety.